Lots of thoughts

I feel like a broken record these days because when people ask me how I feel about the move, I always say the same thing- I'm sad to leave my family, but excited for a new adventure. The truth is, one moment I have a pit in my stomach and I wonder why we are doing this, and the next I am energized and can't believe that we GET to do this. One part of me is thrilled to think about planting some roots in one geographical area, while the other part of me is totally and completely freaked out about "settling down". I absolutely hate the thought of leaving my family, yet I feel so ready for Aaron, Montana, and I to figure out how to be a little family of three.
Another part of me knows that now we have to "put our money where our mouth is." All these years that we've talked about living in community and living simply and living a life of love...well here it is. Will we do it or are those just nice fluffy ideals to talk about? It's easy to say that we will do it when...(we get jobs, move out of our parents', get out of school, buy a house, and on and on). I feel that we have to start putting action behind our beliefs...and I keep thinking...what if we can't hack it? What if we fail miserably? But, what if we succeed? What will our lives really look like then?

So yeah, this move has stirred up alot of emotions for me.

I hate the thought that I am leaving when my sister is about to open a business and I won't be close when the time comes for her to have a baby. I hate that I won't get to see my niece and nephew on a regular basis and watch how they change and grow (Like today, Madelyn made it half way across the monkey bars...she's been working so hard on it all summer, and I got to see her do the best ever! I am so stinkin' proud of that girl!). I am going to desperately miss my weekly morning get togethers with April and Jenny, my 3pm Oprah coffee break with my mom, and Colorado camping. I am going to miss living daily life with my mom and dad and Aaron's parents. Something is just so right about multi-generational living.

On the other hand, I can't wait to watch my husband get paid to do what he is not only trained in, but passionate about as well. I'm excited to be part of something bigger than ourselves. I'm anxious to be in my own home and figure out how to be a family of three. I love WA summers and berry picking. I am thrilled that we get to live in such a cool part of the country and be close to our BC/WA friends and family and to meet more incredible people. I am excited to have a somewhat stable income and put some roots down after 8 years of marriage.

So in summary: We are crazy to go, but crazy not to go...so that just makes us crazy, but that's no news to you!!