Lately

Montana

I feel like we are entering a new era with Montana.  She is starting to read, we are able to explain and reason with her, she is funny and gets humor, and is starting to get embarrassed by us. It is so fun to see her grow up and become herself.  But, I am sad at the same time.  Not only is it hard to see her become more independent, but I know what's coming.  One of my favorite books, Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, explains how girls start losing their inhibitions. They lose sight of their true self in order to adapt to pressure from peers, society, and media. It is not easy reaching adolescence and I want to protect her from friendship struggles, a broken heart, and crazy societal expectations. I know I can't protect her, so I must prepare her.

Aaron and I have noticed another shift in her.  We have watched her become accommodating. Too accommodating.  In order to avoid conflict, she quickly gives in...to her brother, to her friends.  At first glance, it appears that she is being kind and selfless by allowing the other person to have what they want. But on the other hand, I see her sacrificing her own desires simply to avoid conflict.  This is such a tricky balance, because I want her to be kind and learn to compromise, but I also want her to stand up and speak out for her desires.  I want her to use her voice when things are really important to her, but I also know that to be in relationship sometimes your desires have to be put on hold or set aside.  I see myself in her so much, and the need for me to model healthy assertiveness.  Right now I am trying to be her voice and help her ask for what she wants, at the same time practicing it for myself too.

Raising a girl. I am freaked out and excited and honored.  I love watching her grow.

Amos

With Montana away at school, this kid is seriously my sidekick.  We do everything together. He is determined, but oh so cuddly.  He crawls into bed with us every morning about 4am and snuggles.  Anytime I am on the floor, he jumps on me or climbs on me.  We love going to the library and picking out Star Wars books. We share coffee and read those books. He is getting awesome at riding his strider.  He dislikes wearing underwear and prefers to stay in his pajamas all day everyday.  Some days he will wear a shirt, sleep in it and wear it again the next day.  I have resigned myself to fighting the clothing battle.  Wear whatever you want, it's not worth the struggle. Amos really misses Montana now that she is gone everyday.  He runs to her the minute she walks in the door.  Sometimes you can tell that she is tired and just needs a break, but she graciously hugs him while rolling her eyes. Last night, Montana was with our neighbor, Catherine, having some girl time.  Amos had a hard time going to sleep.  He is used to Montana being in the room with him. He says adorable things like, "Mom, you got-for (forgot) read that page."  Randomly he will say, "I love you, mom" and give me a kiss.  The other day he told me that he has a crush on me. Oh, my heart.

It feels like it will be different raising boys.  He gets very frustrated and angry when he doesn't get his way.  He grits his teeth and yells. He needs to be active and get his energy out.  He seems like he will be a kid who does things his own way.  The other day when I picked him up from Sunday School, the teacher said that he insisted on standing the whole time.  He didn't want to sit on the floor like the other kids, but at least he was obedient and listened, he just stood.

 Silas

I can't believe he is already 9 months old.  It has gone so fast.  He is definitely a mama's boy and I must confess, I don't mind.  He is likely our last baby, so I am trying to enjoy every moment of it because in a few months he will be walking and then running away from me. He is a charmer and has adorable smiles to give away.  He is pulling himself up and cruising along furniture.  I think at this point, Montana was just beginning to crawl.  We have been blessed by Silas' "go with flow - I'm the 3rd kid" vibe. I know most babies like music, but Silas seems more interested in it than the other two were. He loves it when Aaron plays guitar and is quickly soothed by a song (despite my off key singing).

Much to his brother's annoyance, Silas is getting into things.  He "messes" up Amos' puzzles and legos. I am anxious to see how this brother relationship will play out. I pray for a strong bond between my kids.  Both Aaron and I pray that they will be friends and enjoy one another. 

It's amazing that this little guy has brought so much joy to our family in the short time that he has been here.  When I look at my kids, my heart is full of amazement and gratitude.  They are healthy and strong. They are full of personality and make my life so full.  Aaron and I had a weekend together recently without kids (except Silas) and although we enjoyed the quiet and the time to connect, we missed our kids.

This moment in time, this is our life.