My motivation is low. All inspiration has vanished. I feel like hiding and emerging when spring (and the sunshine) arrives.
Some days I feel like my world is so small. Some days I can only manage my marriage, two kids, and my hormonal body. Barely.
And then I read a blog or a facebook post about women who are making a difference. Fighting oppression and human injustice. Making art. Challenging archaic views of women and church. Creating beautiful things and ideas. Envisioning new possibilities. And some of these women have small children, like more than 2 children.
Where do they find the passion? The energy? The inspiration? Right now I feel overwhelmed by the need to feed my family supper tonight. We probably shouldn't go out to eat again this week.
I want to live beyond myself and my family. I long to have a passion to channel my inspiration and energy into. But today, in this moment, I don't know how. I don't know how to make a difference in the lives of other women around me, let alone globally. I cannot find any inspiration.
I keep thinking that one day when my kids are in school I will be able to devote myself to a cause, to something that will make a difference. But today, I am not sure if that is true. Maybe my middle class life is all I can manage. I hope not.
Maybe I will have another cup of coffee. For today that is about all the inspiration I can muster.
4 comments:
I've struggled with that lots but then someone said to me, "At this point in time in your life, God has given you your two children to raise, inspire, love, and train in righteousness; and a husband to love and support. That's enough. Your time will come when God will direct your energies other places, but right now, he's called you to put all your energy in your home and family." God has given me peace since then. We don't have to spread ourselves thing because God has given other women more energy. The energy he gives us is for what he has called US to do, not them. Praying you find encouragement in that as well.
Can I say 'Amen' to this? My dear Kate, you ARE adding to the world...you are raising children (that are pretty amazing by the way) and teaching and working with Aaron in ministry...all pretty big in my book! Some days we just all lack motivation for more than covering the basics! It is a season of life, this too will change some day! Love you!
It's so hard to be content, isn't it? It is hard to accept that this "where we are" is where we are meant to be. Oddly enough, I have often watched you parent your delightful children and interact with your husband and thought that I would like to imitate that life that you are living with my husband someday -- so I suppose it is often a matter of perspective, isn't it? You are a gift and I am deeply grateful for the impact you and your sweet family have had in my life. Love you! I hope you are feeling more encouraged!
Thank you, friends, for your sweet, encouraging comments. It is a good reminder to BE where I am. I think most days I am able to do this, but we all have THOSE days. I am feeling better, more motivated...not necessarily "inspired" but I am ok with that today! I appreciate the love and the reminder to BE!
Post a Comment