Anticipation

I didn't have to wait with Montana. Her birth caught us completely by surprise at 36 weeks. Today I am 38 weeks pregnant - more pregnant than I've ever been - and I have to admit the anticipation is killing me. I've told myself that this baby will very likely be on time or even late, but I didn't really want to believe myself. At least 2 or 3 times in the last week, I was convinced that I was about to go into labor and even called my midwives.

My mom just left today after 8 days here. Right before she got here I was having some contractions and just felt that the baby would come while she was here. We ran around like crazy women "just in case the baby comes tomorrow..." But alas he didn't come, but we got alot done.

I have heard everything from, "looks like you've dropped" to "you haven't even dropped yet" to "I have a feeling you'll have the baby soon" to "this baby will probably be late" to...you name it. I choose to only listen to the people who say that he's coming soon and completely ignore the comments on him being late.

I know, I know, I'm being ridiculous, my due date is still 2 weeks away, but it's funny making plans/not making plans during the holiday season. Will I be up for that Christmas party or will I be too big and fat to even get in the car? Or will I be having a baby? Or will I have a newborn?

I have to admit that the anticipation is kind of fun, too. Not knowing when baby's birthday will be, wondering if tonight is the night, and packing a bag. Stuff I didn't think about with Montana. I never had a chance to analyze every pain, contraction, change in my body like I do now. But I may actually even get around to making a birthing playlist for my ipod this time.

Aaron and I were talking about the anticipation of a son being born this time of year. It's kind of cool to think about Mary taking a bumpy donkey ride to Bethlehem (maybe I should give that a try!). Perhaps she wasn't close to her due date yet, or maybe she was late and couldn't wait to get baby Jesus out. Either way, she was probably nervous about birth but was excited to meet her son. What was her anticipation like? Did she have contractions on the way? Of course I'm not in anyway comparing myself to Mary and my son to Jesus, it just makes the Christmas story more real, more human this year.

As I anticipate the birth of my son, I am reminded of the anticipation of the celebration of Jesus' birth and what that means to us today. It brings me focus and reminds me not to get so caught up in all of the crazy details this time of year. I'm waiting and longing to meet my son, but also I am longing when one day I will meet my Jesus face to face. What a day THAT will be! For now, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my son. Will he come tonight?