What in the Walters?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Seen

If you know me, you know that I grew up in a charismatic church. The kind where you sing a new song to the Lord between every song and the jumpers (not to be confused with dancers) congregated in the southwest corner of the 3,000+ person auditorium. I loved it. I felt God every Sunday.

And then I began to expect that feeling. If I didn't cry or jump or tremble,
I must not have experienced God. Where did He go?

My spiritual journey through college challenged me not to base my relationship with God on that feeling. Sometimes I would feel it, most times I wouldn't. I was tired of going through the motions and the emotions. I began to trust that He was there even when I didn't feel Him. My spiritual life became more stable, less erratic.

Needless to say, I have found myself in a more traditional church environment and have grown comfortable with the stability, even the monotony of it. The music is contemporary with guitars and drums and we occasionally clap, but I have not been in a service where more than a handful of people have raised their hands at one time. And I do not remember the last time that I encountered jumping, long musical pauses between songs, or an altar call.

And then I went to Texas.

Yes, I found myself just a tad cynical...okay, a lot cynical. While most of me was skeptical, a small part of me wanted it. I wanted to feel God. So I asked Him. Despite myself, God, would you please show up?

And He did.

It seemed that one teacher spoke directly to me...He sees you. I immediately got choked up. These words were especially powerful to me because I was in a crowd of thousands of people and everyone that we had met literally looked over our shoulders the whole time we chatted. I felt so invisible.

I was satisfied with those words. I needed that message and really believe that God was telling me, I see you. But God did it again. The very last speaker came up to close the conference. He made the keyboardist stop playing and he said...

you are big to God. pray that He will be as big to you as you are to Him.

pray that you will be as focused on Him as He is on you.

I cried. I felt God speak to little ol' me. It is good to be reminded that He sees me and knows me. I know He does, but it's good to feel it, too.

I am seen by Him. And you know what? You are too.
I hope you feel Him today.

Monday, April 2, 2012

New look

I got tired of looking at my blog with rain everywhere. I am tired of rain and ready for spring. Hence the template change! Maybe the weather will match my blog?

On the topic of spring and new life...I am filled with lots of thoughts after our recent trip to Dallas for a church planting conference. I am hoping to use the blog as a venue for processing. So much happening in my head and in my life. Now I just need to sit down and write.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Colorado Trip: Part 2

The boys

The girls

The cousins

The cactus

The 2nd part of our trip was spent with my family. The kids and I drove to Arizona with my mom and dad and then my sister and her family flew in. We stayed at a condo with a pool and the weather was glorious. It was a different kind of getaway - mom and dad kept referring to it as the "daycare vacation" and that's totally what it was. There was always one kid napping or needing to eat. It was a big production to go anywhere, but really we had no where to go besides the pool. We even saw our cousins from Tucson. Great trip overall, but we missed Aaron. He stayed home and worked. I guess someone had to do it!

Colorado Trip: Part 1

We spent the first part of our trip to Colorado with Aaron's family. The weather was horrible, then gorgeous. We hiked, went to the zoo, and the kids played their hearts out. The kids played so hard, they got sick. Montana was on the couch one afternoon with a fever and then got a cough. It didn't stop her. She LOVES her cousins. It is so fun watching them get older and see their personalities emerge. We are so grateful for such a fun time with the Walters/Lankfords!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sister visit

Tomorrow the kids and I are headed to Colorado to visit family and friends. We are so excited. And just a couple of weeks ago my sister, and my adorable niece, Anjali, were here for a glorious 5 day visit. I love it when our trips are close together because it makes saying good-bye so much easier. Our time together consisted of going to coffee, feeding the kids, putting them down for naps, seafood, and going to bed early. Low expectations for the day, but great times of connection. Here are a few highlights:

Montana was in heaven! Aunt Emily curled her hair, painted her nails, and took her shopping. Those two are 2 peas in a pod!

Nudey time!!
When does being naked with your cousin become awkward?

Trying to get Montana to start babysitting so we can go to coffee alone!

Ani sporting her shades

Ani with Montana's Rapunzel wig. Montana loved picking out clothes for Anjali. She was like her very own live doll. And for some reason so much more interesting than her brother.