There will be days like this...

Today I sat on the porch reading a book and sipping a cool beverage. In The Middle Of The Afternoon!  The kids are all recovering from our long road trip and were resting. There were dishes to be done, dinner to be prepped, emails to write, but it all waited. I basked in the quiet sunshine.

Then...

I sat outside while the boys entertained themselves in the kiddie pool for almost one hour.  Silas did poop in the grass, but nothing was taking away the good feeling from this girl.

Then...

I made a nutritious and very delicious (if I do say so myself) dinner.  And if I had any lipstick I may have put it on before my husband came home.  I felt that good by the time dinner rolled around.

The kids went to bed amazingly. And now I sit reflecting on the glorious day we had and two things come to mind.

First, it felt so good to be completely present in my day.  I didn't worry about cleaning or the other millions of things that can so easily consume my mind.  After studying Ecclesiastes at the Table, I was mindful of enjoying life (Ecclesiastes 3:13-14) today.  It is truly a gift from God.  All things apart from Him are meaningless.  He gave me today and I fully enjoyed it.  I rarely do that...normally I just get through to the end of the day when I can collapse on the couch before dragging myself to bed.

Second, I feel that in this season of motherhood I am learning when to push and when to let go. I had grand plans for us today.  Berry picking, making jam, maybe walking to the splash park.  The kids woke up and just wanted to be home. They literally just hung out and and when I tried to get them going they resisted. I wanted to push them.  I wanted blueberries.  I tried to compromise with a nature walk to go buy berries instead and they just shrugged and said, "maybe later."  It was at that point, I decided to let go of my agenda and as I did something in me released too.  Instead of DO and GO, my children forced me to BE. And it was more wonderful and restful than I could have ever planned.  I read a novel in the middle of the afternoon for goodness sake.

There are some days when I will need to push them.  There are things that need to be done. But sometimes the best thing to do is sit back and enjoy this day. This moment.

My heart is full of gratitude.

Good-bye backpacking, Hello family camping

Aaron and I used to backpack.  Nothing hard core, the most was a backpacking trip for 3 days on our honeymoon.  But then we went to graduate school. And had kids.  We have definitely done some tent camping in the meantime, squeezing our growing family into our 3 person backpacking tent and cooking oatmeal and boiling hot dogs on a backpacking stove.

This year we decided to accept the reality of our season of life. 

As we prepared for our first camping trip of this summer we fully embraced camping as a family of five:  We bought a coleman stove.  We purchased camp chairs for each person in the family. We borrowed a HUGE tent from our neighbors.  We even packed the portable crib.  Everyone had a pillow and extra blankets and a suitcase of clothes and toys.  And we loaded all of this into, yes, you guessed it, our MINI VAN.

We were going to camp in comfort.  Say good-bye to backpacking and minimalist car camping, we brought out the big guns.

It took us 3 days to pack. Maybe 2 hours to load the car. 6 hours to drive to the coast. Another couple of hours to pitch a huge tent and set up camp.  We did it.

Day 2 it poured rain.  It is the Pacific Northwest, we should have been more prepared.  The borrowed tent was collecting gallons of rain. Aaron feared it would collapse on us and our children in the middle of the night.  So, we abandoned the comforts of a large tent for the confined space of the van. Yes, we all slept in the van and I confess we slept quite comfortably.  But then we got up and had to pack everything back up into our mini van.  That was no small feat especially since everything was now muddy and wet, including the 3 children. 

So after 2-3 hours of packing the van, 6 hours of driving back home, an entire evening of unpacking the camping gear, and 8 loads of laundry later everything was put away...and we started planning the next camping trip...which included the purchase of our very own 8 person tent with a rain fly.

Our friends, Aime and Ash (and their super dog Seamus) get major props for participating in this inaugural camping trip and for being totally awesome to camp with.

More than art...

One thing that is important to our little church is being involved in the community.  So many people have been burned by the church or by other Christians and will never step into a church building.  Our hope is to take a bit of church and Jesus to them.  That is why we do service projects once a month and why Aaron worked for over a year to paint an intersection.  Plus, we just really love our neighbors and love to get people together!

On June 7, we finally got to paint the intersection.  It was such an amazing day!  The weather was flawless, lots of people came out and met one another, there was good music.  I just love the way a shared project brings people together.  I am also really proud of my husband.  He and another guy did a lot of leg work to see this project to completion.  They visited city council, rallied neighbors, knocked on countless doors, obtained permits, on and on.  Aaron's heart for this community never ceases to inspire me.

Here are just a few of the photos from that day taken by another talented neighbor - Nolan.

I love the colors.  You can see the mural from several blocks away.

Emily was the artist who drew the mural on the pavement, mixed colors, and was generally just awesome.

Two handsome guys I had to include!

This project brought people together who would normally never cross paths.

Willow was the 12 yr old who designed the mural.

We ran out of paint before we were able to finish the painting, so stay tuned for the final project!!

Happy 1st Birthday

Wow. Has it really been one year? It feels like yesterday he was born, but it also feels like Silas has always been here.  I love the way that he has completed our family.

What a difference one year makes in a baby!  He has grown and changed so much.  We got to have a few little celebrations the past few days, including one in CO with extended family.  Silas Wisdom, you continue to be such a joy to us.  We all love you so much.

All in a day's work

The day started off with "Holy Shoot!" from the 3 year old.  And then an explanation why we shouldn't say that.  And then the question, "well then is it okay to say Holy Cow?"

Well, crap, I thought to myself, is it okay?  I landed on yes it is okay to say, but reminded my children that nothing is holy except God.  So maybe it's not okay to say, "holy cow" or "holy moly" or...?

Up next was the almost 1 year old climbing the ladder of the bunk bed unassisted and I must say quite skillfully. Great, now I have to eliminate another hazard.  I am beginning to remember why I love babies and have a love/hate relationship with toddlers.

Then the 6 year old lost her front tooth at supper.  She asked the tooth fairy to bring fairy dust.  Some white sugar mixed with purple and pink sprinkles left over from some birthday party and...Voila! Pixie dust.  The tooth fairy also added 2 quarters for good measure, but the fairy pixie dust was a hit and the quarters may still be under the pillow. Next time, I think the tooth fairy will get herself a coffee instead of giving money.

I write these things to remind my present self what a sweet time we are in with the kids and so my future self does not forget these little moments.  Sometimes the yelling or whining or exhaustion is all I can remember.

Sacred Space

The other day I realized that my bed is truly a sacred space for me.  I know it's a weird thought.

A good portion of my life is spent in it...sleeping. I fall into bed every night exhausted. My days are full, but at night I crawl under the covers, pick up a book, and take a deep breath. I stretch my legs out and finally let go of the day and prepare for the next. And usually read 2 pages before I drift off.  But the bed is also so much more.

My bed is about rest, but it's also about connection.  Amos takes his naps in my bed.  We read a story and have a moment to connect before he rests. Sometimes if the stars align, Aaron or I will rest with him.  And again before bed Aaron reads to the kids in our bed.  There are cuddles and talk about the day. Prayers are said. When we enter that space, we all slow down.  It's here where the important things happen.

My bed is about intimacy.  Intimacy with my children, but also my husband. We have heart felt conversations lying side by side. Our legs touch. And it goes without saying that 3 children were conceived in that sacred space.  My 3rd baby was born in that bed and I have nursed my babies in the wee hours of the morning in that bed.

My bed is a sacred space.  My family goes there for rest, connection and intimacy.  It is the most special space in my house. I think I should go there now!

Sick of the $#*T (part 2)

No, this is not another post about potty training, it is about a different kind of shit, but equally messy.

It is smeared on church pews of conservatives and on the high horses of liberals. I am so tired of it.

Last week, World Vision (a child sponsorship organization that happens to be Christian), decided that they would start hiring Christians in same-sex marriages.  My first reaction?  They are so brave. My second reaction? They are going to get eaten alive.

And they did. Two days later, they reversed their policy.

You know what I am sick of? I am sick of conservatives AND liberals. I am sick of the judgment and opinions.  I am sick of everyone on their soap boxes and blogs (irony) telling everyone else how they should think and what they should believe.  I am sick of talk with no action. I am sick of "politically correct." I am sick of people flinging shit at each other.

You know who the casualties are?  Vincent in Honduras, Ngutu in Kenya, Priya in India. Children are going hungry because people in America don't want a gay accountant working at World Vision.  Children are dying while we debate homosexuality and prayer in schools and whatever else happens to appear in a facebook feed. I can't help but think that Satan is having a heyday with all of this division.

We need to stop the madness.  If we spent half that energy helping children in our neighborhood or caring for someone who is lonely or sponsoring a child or listening to someone's story or empathizing with someone different than us these debates would seem so cursory. Let's stop making the wrong things the main things. Caring for each other as human beings should be the most basic thing we do. I have sat with too many hurting and broken people this week.  I can't help but think we are all missing the point. Sitting in coffee shops or churches and talking and criticizing does NO good.  Just stop it.  Take a minute to walk in someone else's shoes. We are all humans.  We are all hurting and broken in need of grace and kindness.

Stop the madness.  What all these crazy conversations do is take us away from what truly matters...each other.