Bad Timing?

Did I tell you? The church started. The Table is what we call it. We've gathered for worship about 6 times or so. It's a new season. And it's exciting to see it start after almost 2 years of prayer and preparation. So at the height of reaching out, building relationships, gathering a community of worshippers who serve their neighborhoods, I find myself pregnant. When momentum for the church is high and our focus is outward and Aaron is excited and motivated, my energy and emotions aren't quite there. My energy is going toward growing a life inside of me. I want to stay at home more. I am tired much more easily by people and events. This seems to be such terrible timing. I don't want to hinder the momentum of this new season, but at the same time I don't feel in the space to ride the wave either.

I was reminded by a wise friend, however, that maybe this isn't terrible timing. Maybe it's God's way of helping our family establish boundaries early in church ministry. Maybe it's a way for me as a "pastor's wife" to maintain my identity and not get wrapped up inappropriately with church life. Maybe it's a way to protect my children and give them space to grow and be instead of always doing things, going places, and being with people. This reframe of what seems to be bad timing has encouraged me immensely. It's a reminder that God's way is the best and most times I have no clue what He is up to. Maybe that's why it took us over a year to get pregnant again. So perhaps this timing isn't so bad. Now the next step is just to learn how to balance it - to know when to give and reach out and to know when it's okay to stay home and just be. Ahhhh....balance....the secret to this life! When I finally figure out the formula to balance, I will write a book!